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:iconkxnni:Kxnni posted a status
Small vent thing~~~
A while ago, like 6 months ago, there was this girl who confessed her feelings to me, I said yes because she's honestly one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I didn't want to make her feel embarrassed or sad if I said no, but me being the idiot that I was, I didn't realise that I already had a crush on Zero. When I got home from school, I calmed down from being elated that I finally have a girlfriend. I then realised that I have a crush on Zero, my stomach sunk and tears ran down my cheeks, I panicked, I didn't know what to do, I loved her so much, but I loved Zero more and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Eventually I had to tell her that I liked Zero more, I made a horrible mistake. The face she made when I told her I loved someone else, she was absolutely heartbroken, her face was all pale and her eyes were red as if she smoked krokodil. The next day she was with her friends in the park, they all glared at me, started laughing at me and making me feel like shit. Her friends all ran towards me, mounted on me, choked me, poured dirt into my mouth and broke my phone. I managed to escape, my face was all purple, my phone screen was cracked and my hand started bleeding. I went home crying like a baby, my parents asked me what happened, I explained them the whole thing. They started shouting at me and guilt tripping me. I locked myself in my room, playing sad, anxiety inducing music, crying and slashing my wrists. I was so scared of love then.

But that was a while ago, why are you so sad about it now? Because recently I was being cyber bullied by my Ex-Girlfriend and her friends on Twitter, my older sister showed me my Ex-Girlfriend's Twitter page. My sister asked: "Are they talking about you?" I nodded, I grabbed my sister's phone reading all the tweets, I felt so many emotions looking at those tweets, I literally felt like a spirit. They basically found every little thing that would hurt me. I ran to my room, bawled my eyes out and cut myself open with scissors. I just wish she knew what I was doing in my room.

But why do I get this? I know I messed up and it's my fault, but I owed up to it, you don't have to ruin my life. I need help.

Devious Comments

:iconradrot:
RadRot Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Jesus they could get arrested for assault. They are going too far with this. Id definitely contact the police because beating someone up for making a mistake is cruel.
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:iconkxnni:
Kxnni Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2017  Student Digital Artist
It's fine now, then again, the drama was 6 months ago. And my parents already told them.
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:iconbophoenix:
BoPhoenix Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
it's not at all your fault. 

yes, maybe you should have said something about who you liked sooner, or just not said yes to this girl, but that doesn't make what happened to you and what she started doing to you okay.

feelings can change, and if someone can't handle it then TOUGH LUCK. only you can decide who you really love, and even then, no one has any control over who they fall for.

If this girl really did love you, she would have respected your decisions and not gone and told her friends, just so they could mob you.

on that note, you can call the police and notify them of you being physically assaulted. because they literally just attacked you for no good reason.

your parents sound like assholes to me. they are completely in the wrong at this point, so don't listen to whatever they have to say, unless they are apologising and trying to help you through it. 

also, please please PLEASE take care of yourself. don't harm yourself because it's generally just bad; if you really need to do anything like that, snap plastic bands on your wrists instead of cutting.
it's still not the best, but it's better than cutting properly.

As for the cyber-bulling, block and report who ever is harassing you, don't look at it and remember: they are in the wrong. what they are doing to you is emotional abuse, which is disgusting, inhumane and makes them a horrible, unworthy human being.

it's going to be difficult, but don't you dare blame yourself because this IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
reach out to people you trust, or go to this link: www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-…  <-- Samaritans will listen to your problems and give you advice.

please stay safe and take care. <3 <3
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:iconkxnni:
Kxnni Featured By Owner Edited Dec 31, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the help ♥
It's nice knowing that there's someone out there who actually cares about me and my feelings.

We've told the police about the assault.
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:iconbophoenix:
BoPhoenix Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome, I hope it all helps !!
I wish I could help you more, if I knew you in real life it would be so much easier ( ; v ; )

yeah, I really do care ! I want to make sure you're okay because it would kill me to know that you were suffering and felt like no one wanted to help. <3
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